“Touch of Grey” by the Grateful Dead carries a profound resonance with those who have endured hardship yet find resilience in moving forward. It is a theme that echoes powerfully in This Is How It Feels to Heal, where survival becomes both a choice and a practice. As someone who once lived much of a year following the Dead, the song’s message became a personal anthem, a reflection of the unpredictable freedom and community that defined life on the road. Moving from show to show, from city to city, my days were shaped by the music, and the camaraderie of strangers brought together by a shared love for the band. Each stop was a new beginning, each road a reminder that we could create meaning out of every moment, no matter how imperfect. Traveling in my truck, camping under the stars, relying on the kindness of fellow Deadheads, I came to embrace a life of simplicity and deep complexity—a true embodiment of “Touch of Grey.”
The lyrics, penned by Robert Hunter, capture an enduring strength and acceptance of life’s quirks and challenges. “We will get by; we will survive” wasn’t just a phrase sung along to, but a mantra that underscored the reality of each day. In the unpredictable journey of my healing, as in the life of a Deadhead, resilience isn’t born of ease but of learning to face the twists and turns with grace. The song opens with images of clocks running late and a painted morning sky that feels “phony,” mirroring the disorienting moments in life when nothing seems to line up quite right. Yet, rather than fight against what we cannot change, the narrator simply lights a candle, draws the curtains, and lets it be. This isn’t passive resignation; it’s a powerful act of acceptance, an acknowledgment that we can find peace even in life’s imperfections.
What makes “Touch of Grey” so powerful is how it weaves humor into hardship, revealing the absurdities of life with a lightheartedness that eases the weight of suffering. The line, “Every silver lining’s got a touch of grey,” doesn’t deny the value of positivity but recognizes the reality that no moment is purely good or bad. In both the song and my journey, there is wisdom in laughing at the chaos, an understanding that the hard times are part of the same story as the good ones. This Is How It Feels to Heal is filled with similar moments—humor and humility as the counterpoints to grief, reminders that we can endure life’s turbulence and still find light in its darkest corners.
One of the song’s most striking aspects is how it shifts from “I will get by” to “we will get by,” a powerful shift that underscores the strength of community. Traveling with the Dead wasn’t a solo journey but a shared experience; the spirit of “we will survive” played out every night in the connection between people, in the unspoken understanding that together, we could weather anything. The Grateful Dead’s music created a kind of collective resilience, where everyone’s presence buoyed the others, and that solidarity made the hardest parts of the journey lighter. In both healing and the Deadhead experience, there’s an undeniable power in knowing that others walk the path with you, that your resilience is shared and strengthened by those around you.
This message of resilience isn’t about denying hardship but embracing it with openness and courage. Hunter’s lyrics, “Oh well, a touch of grey kinda suits you anyway,” remind us that life leaves marks on us, and those marks aren’t something to hide—they are badges of experience. Living through hardship, facing challenges like grief and loss, the imperfections we carry become part of our story, part of what makes us whole. Aging, like hardship, is a process we all go through, and “Touch of Grey” captures that truth with a gentle acceptance, as if to say that the scars of experience are what make life real and beautiful.
The song’s humor doesn’t just lighten the load; it reveals the resilience hidden in life’s absurdities. When Hunter writes, “The rent is in arrears, the dog has not been fed in years,” he paints a picture of life in disarray, yet still “alright.” This humor captures a truth that we all know—that sometimes, life feels like a mess, but acknowledging it is often the first step toward finding peace. On the road with the Dead, life wasn’t always easy or predictable, but those shared moments of chaos brought an understanding that we could keep going, no matter how out of joint things felt.
The song’s power is also timeless, bridging generational divides with its universal themes of acceptance, resilience, and community. Just as following the Dead taught me to live each day as it came, “Touch of Grey” reminds us all that life’s lessons are like the “ABC’s” we all must face. We may not know what lies around the next bend, but like a Deadhead on the road, we can learn to embrace each twist with an open heart. Life’s hardships may be universal, but so too are the tools we find to meet them with courage, grace, and a little humor.
In This Is How It Feels to Heal, I explore the parallels between healing and traveling an unknown road. Both are journeys without a clear destination, marked by faith in the process rather than a specific outcome. “Touch of Grey” becomes a kind of map for this journey, reminding us that survival itself is a victory. The “touch of grey” we all carry is a mark of resilience, an acknowledgment that we’ve faced life head-on, endured, and come through changed but whole. The year I spent traveling with the Dead is woven into my journey of healing, a vivid metaphor for resilience. You may not always know what lies ahead, but the commitment to the journey brings discovery, growth, and, ultimately, healing.
In the end, “Touch of Grey” is a testament to resilience—not a naïve hope for a life without struggle, but a grounded belief in our ability to get by, to survive. It speaks to anyone who has faced hardship and come through, knowing that every scar and every grey hair is a reminder of what it took to keep going. The song, like my own journey, doesn’t offer grand solutions or easy answers. Instead, it offers solidarity, acceptance, and the assurance that we can find beauty in the marks life leaves on us. Survival is itself a triumph, a powerful act of resilience. To get by, to survive, is more than enough. It’s everything.
Lyrics below video.
Touch of Grey
It must be getting early
Clocks are running late
Paint by numbers morning sky
Looks so phony
Dawn is breaking everywhere
Light a candle, curse the glare
Draw the curtains, I don’t care
‘Cause it’s alright
I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive
I see you got your list out
Say your piece and get out
Yes, I get the gist of it
But it’s alright
Sorry that you feel that way
The only thing there is to say
Every silver lining’s got a
Touch of grey
I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive
It’s a lesson to me
The Ables and the Bakers and the C’s
The ABC’s
We all must face
And try to keep a little grace
It’s a lesson to me
The Deltas and the East and the Freeze
The ABC’s
We all think of
And try to keep a little love
I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It’s even worse than it appears
But it’s alright
Cows are giving kerosene
The kid can’t read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene
But it’s alright
I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive
T
he shoe is on the hand, it fits
There’s really nothing much to it
Whistle through your teeth and spit
‘Cause it’s alright
Oh, well, a touch of grey
Kind of suits you anyway
That was all I had to say, and
It’s alright
I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive
We will get by
We will get by
We will get by
We will survive
We will get by
We will get by
We will get by