**This Is How It Feels to Heal** is the central archive of Wind and Raven, the personal record of Steve Patterson’s journey through end-stage liver disease, liver cancer, transplant, spiritual inquiry, survival, and transformation.
This site began during the years when I was living with end-stage liver disease, liver cancer, and the uncertainty of whether I would survive long enough to receive a transplant. What started as a search for meaning during terminal illness became a record of transformation, survival, spiritual inquiry, and the long process of rebuilding a life.
The writings, videos, reflections, and older blog posts gathered here trace that evolution. Some were written while I was sick. Some came after liver transplant. Some reflect the raw search for answers that shaped the work I do today.
The writings collected here eventually became part of the foundation for *This Is How It Feels to Heal*, the book that tells the larger story of illness, identity, death, recovery, and the work of rebuilding a life after everything familiar had fallen away.
His first book, This is How it Feels to Heal, a shamanic journey through cancer, life challenges, and recovery, is available on Amazon.com
Wind and Raven is not a medical site, and it is not a place of clinical instruction. It is a personal archive, a spiritual record, and a map of one person’s passage through illness, identity, death, survival, and renewal.
That journey eventually became the foundation for my book, *This Is How It Feels to Heal*, and later helped shape *The Healing Pathways* work. At its core, this site is about one question: What happens when everything you thought you were falls away, and you have to decide who you are going to become?
This is where that question began.