All of us cope with cravings from time to time. Generally speaking, these are harmless, but sometimes they are not. It is all about personal power.
“I need a drink to watch the game,” or, “A small line, just a boost to get me through the afternoon, and I will be good.”
What matters most of the time is not what you desire but why? Who wouldn’t want to be on holiday or at the beach? Is there anything wrong with wanting to be with the one you love?
It is normal to desire a vacation or simply miss the affection of a loved one, but perhaps there is a deeper issue at play. Perhaps you are overworked? Are you even enjoying your job? Are you valued at work and at home? Do you remember the last time you spent the entire day with a loved one?
It is important to understand our needs and wants if one is to understand the conditions in which we live and what can be done to improve them. However, wants and needs are two very different things.
Do you really need a beer, or something similar? You may want one, but do you really need it? Is it still possible to enjoy the game without drinking alcohol? How? Consider a time in your life when you were not in need of what you are longing for may be of value to us. At what point did you allow a substantial step in to bridge the gap between feeling good and not feeling good? When the anticipated payoff of the craving is the opposite of how I currently feel, i.e., how I want to feel now, why do you then attribute the credit and power to something else for getting you where you want to be in the first place?
“Because I need it,” is the likely response when navigating cravings. However, who is saying this? Are you, or are you in control of the situation to even say so in the first place? I know that sounds rough, and one should not feel shame, guilt, or less than in any way for experiencing such a relatively common challenge for many people. In fact, having the personal power in the first place to even ask these questions of yourself in search of an honest answer is far more than most will ever do. So, perhaps, this is how it feels to heal?
The above may appear to be oversimplified, and plenty of sources out there that reinforce one’s powerlessness over substance. It is difficult to reach a positive outcome if you identify as a victim of something.
All of this goes back to the question of why you believe these substances, or any negative behavior, is your salvation. When did you relinquish control of your life to anything or anyone else? Furthermore, once you accept the fact that you are no longer in control and then seek to regain dictating the direction in your life, then things will change for the better,
Again, when did you check out of the process? Why, even if it happened slowly and without us noticing, are you now living in some Hotel California environment? In other words, “You can check-in, but you can never leave.”
You have the “you can never leave” part of yourself that is conspiring with the enemy, or at least craving the enemy’s delivery to the place that you would rather be. Your enemy is anything that takes your power from you. It is one thing to give away the power and then to give the substance credit for improving your happiness, but, as mentioned earlier, we are also attempting to determine why you are unable to achieve that point without the substance? In answering these questions, you not only take back your power, but the enemy then becomes a teacher.
The substance has no inherent power to influence your decision, that is entirely up to you, but your choice certainly has the ability to erode your power. Therefore, it operates as a control mechanism until your power is reclaimed.
But sometimes it is hard even to consider when the thought “I wish things were different” is lounder than, “I am going to chose what is next.”
You can choose either one, but it depends on your willingness to resolve the difference between the two. It is possible to get anywhere if you believe in yourself if you have the courage to take the next step, and then take action.
All of these are steps in the process of change. In pre-contemplation, none of these things occur to an individual, who follows repetitive patterns blindly. If it is a negative behavior, then negative consequences begin to manifest. This presents a chance to expand awareness and to contemplate change. Possibly a plan will be made, seeking help, performing some research, etc., and then taking action and contacting someone, trying to find information, etc., but some form of action is necessary.
You know intuitively what is best for you. Do not deceive yourself. There are, however, two primary sources of information contained within that “self.” On the one hand, there is the intuitive, which comes from the heart. The other is your mind, your conscious perception of the world, and your assessment of it. It is the part of you that states, “I am.”
Perhaps think of it that way.
While you do….
Calm your mind, reader. Please close your eyes. Concentrate on your breathing and imagine the thing you desire. In what part of your body do you feel the craving? See if the sensation changes in another part of your body. And finally, consider why you are experiencing this sensation. Think about how you felt before and how you feel now in relation to how you thought about it before.
The body does not lie; the mind does. These are feelings and thoughts. As part of your physicality, your heart is organic, and everything begins with a single beat. In the world of three dimensions, your thoughts do not exist. Receiving both physical and mental messages, we create our reality through our choices, starting with our opinion and moving on to our conscious actions.
Such a practice can lead to several questions when seeking the source of cravings. It is even possible to ask yourself this while you are walking by yourself if you have as much self-awareness as possible.
“What am I doing to do next?” is an unacknowledged yet conscious thought in every moment. It’s your choice. It’s your move.
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog. Many of the concepts in coping with cravings discussed herein are drawn from my book “This is How it Feels to Heal, a shamanic journey through cancer, recovery, and life challenges.” The theme of taking control of one’s own life is a constant theme throughout the book, and the final section in which I ask you to close your eyes is a hybrid of “the ceremony of the body,” which I developed on my journey through a terminal illness. If you or anyone you know is struggling with dependency, struggling in recovery, or looking to make a significant life change, please see my Current Offerings page or book a free consultation.